Ok, my expectations were far too high and I did not meet my goal. But that's ok, because I'm not unhappy! I'm still down a significant amount of weight and I'm super thrilled. I'm in high spirits and feeling fantastic.
I've noticed a change in the muscles in my legs this week from all the walking I've been doing. Not only can I walk faster, but I can go a bit further without needing to rest. This is really exciting, because I feel that it wont be much longer that I can go around the block without too much trouble. I never would have though years ago that there would be a time in my life that walking around the block would be a challenge, but here I am.
I've had no food issues in a long time. I can't even recall without looking back on old entries (and I don't want to) when I last had trouble with binging. I think that says something about both proper medication and self control. I'm proud of how far I've come since starting my cognitive behavioral therapy in March.
My next therapy session is on Thursday and I am really looking forward to seeing my therapist. My last appointment with her was last month because of that crazy time in the beginning of this month with the military. Had to hold off on seeing her until we got things settled. I really can't wait to tell her about everything going on.
I bought my guitar this week. It will arrive sometime within the next two weeks. I special ordered it from The Musician's Friend. It was more exciting and scary than it was purchasing my first car as a teenager. To have music in my life again is going to be amazing. It hasn't been since I was a teenager that I've really played an instrument. I look forward to this. Once I have the instrument, I'm going to find myself an instructor and get lessons. I wont be doing this halfheartedly. I really want to learn.
I don't foresee any major events in the future that could create any real major anxiety or binge eating situations. I know I will eventually have to move to the new base and I've got that pretty much under control. This house is clean and I'm staying on top of it, ready for the move when it comes so short of something completely out of left field at this point I'm just about ready for anything.
I say, bring it on!
Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Two Days A Week
Normally, I do my daily posts the night before, which is why it always looks like I'm posting at three in the morning. Rather sneaky of me, isn't it? I completely forgot last night. But I did not forget my homework assignment this weekend, which was to add something to my daily routine this week to boost my daily activity.
I am by no means lounging around like I once did, I've noticed. My house is gorgeous, I'm mostly caught up on laundry and this Friday my brand new book shelf arrived. This weekend my husband and I put it together and even unpacked our closet that had things inside it for so many years that I had moments that I went, "Wow, I haven't seen that since I was XX years old!" Embarrassing for me, let me tell you, though not quite as embarrassing as finding pay stubs from my very first job when I was 15. I believe that minimum wage then was $4.35 an hour. We promptly went out, bought a paper shredder and I spent five hours shredding paper.
Ok, trip down memory lane aside, I decided that I would start taking my son to the park on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now my husband usually does bonding time with our son after dinner on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays after dinner when the temperature drops so no one is dying of the heat. I figured that I could do the other two days of the week and the weekends could continue to be the family days. That will give dad some much needed time to himself at night, too.
I'm not sure I'll be starting this tomorrow, however, as my son is going to get some dental work done and I'm not sure how he'll be feeling. Since he has to be put under for it, he might not be feeling his best. I'll go if he indicates he wants to, though.
I think this will be good for me, since I have such an issue with going out in public and dealing with people staring at me because of my weight. It's going to take a long time for me to get the weight off, and I'm getting really sick and tired of being indoors. I can't put off going outside until I lose another 200+ pounds. The thin people on this base will just have to just get use to seeing a fat person outside and for me, I'll have to get use to people looking at me while losing weight. I am losing the weight, and I just need to keep reminding myself that.
I am by no means lounging around like I once did, I've noticed. My house is gorgeous, I'm mostly caught up on laundry and this Friday my brand new book shelf arrived. This weekend my husband and I put it together and even unpacked our closet that had things inside it for so many years that I had moments that I went, "Wow, I haven't seen that since I was XX years old!" Embarrassing for me, let me tell you, though not quite as embarrassing as finding pay stubs from my very first job when I was 15. I believe that minimum wage then was $4.35 an hour. We promptly went out, bought a paper shredder and I spent five hours shredding paper.
Ok, trip down memory lane aside, I decided that I would start taking my son to the park on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now my husband usually does bonding time with our son after dinner on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays after dinner when the temperature drops so no one is dying of the heat. I figured that I could do the other two days of the week and the weekends could continue to be the family days. That will give dad some much needed time to himself at night, too.
I'm not sure I'll be starting this tomorrow, however, as my son is going to get some dental work done and I'm not sure how he'll be feeling. Since he has to be put under for it, he might not be feeling his best. I'll go if he indicates he wants to, though.
I think this will be good for me, since I have such an issue with going out in public and dealing with people staring at me because of my weight. It's going to take a long time for me to get the weight off, and I'm getting really sick and tired of being indoors. I can't put off going outside until I lose another 200+ pounds. The thin people on this base will just have to just get use to seeing a fat person outside and for me, I'll have to get use to people looking at me while losing weight. I am losing the weight, and I just need to keep reminding myself that.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Staying On Track
Thursday was great. I did what I said I would do and walked Bradley to the bus stop and back home again. Felt a little easier and I will continue to do this daily as long as it doesn't rain. Unfortunately the bus stop doesn't have any kind of protective cover, so I wouldn't want him standing out in the rain, even with an umbrella. Though I don't think there is any chance of rain any time soon, so no worries there.
I came home and cleaned up, keeping on top of my chores. It's nice to be able to have the energy to do these kinds of things now which I can attribute to both a combination of new medication, strength from moving around more, an easier time moving around from weight loss and increased energy.
Now I need to start focusing on things I want to work on next. I need some new goals. It's great that I've started walking Bradley down to the bus stop and have been able to start keeping up on my house and getting things in order, but now I need to start adding more things to the list of responsibilities that I'd like to be able to do again. I'm not sure what those are. I think my task for this weekend for myself will be to think about it. I don't want to overwhelm myself, so maybe for now it will just be one or two small things.
Whatever it is, I just want to make sure that I don't allow myself to get comfortable and become stagnant water. I must continue to improve by pushing my limits and I am ready to do that now. We'll see what I come up with over the weekend. Enjoy yours and see you next week!
I came home and cleaned up, keeping on top of my chores. It's nice to be able to have the energy to do these kinds of things now which I can attribute to both a combination of new medication, strength from moving around more, an easier time moving around from weight loss and increased energy.
Now I need to start focusing on things I want to work on next. I need some new goals. It's great that I've started walking Bradley down to the bus stop and have been able to start keeping up on my house and getting things in order, but now I need to start adding more things to the list of responsibilities that I'd like to be able to do again. I'm not sure what those are. I think my task for this weekend for myself will be to think about it. I don't want to overwhelm myself, so maybe for now it will just be one or two small things.
Whatever it is, I just want to make sure that I don't allow myself to get comfortable and become stagnant water. I must continue to improve by pushing my limits and I am ready to do that now. We'll see what I come up with over the weekend. Enjoy yours and see you next week!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Things Didn't Go Quite As Planned
Tuesday night I got a little excited and tried to do too many things. Now, I have been sleeping on my couch for about two years or possibly longer. The bed causes me severe pain in my knees, hips, along my spine, shoulders and neck. This only became a problem as I started reaching around 400lbs or so. I found relief with the couch, which is how I ended up there.
Since I'm nearly down to 400lbs again, I thought I would give the bed a try. I miss my husband at night! I brought everything upstairs and went to sleep. Every two hours I was waking up, trying to find a new position that would allow me to be in less pain and fall asleep again. I popped some ibuprofen to get some relief from the constant pain that I was experiencing by 2 a.m. By 4 a.m. I am awake once again and I sat up, the pain was unbearable. That was it, I was near tears and I just couldn't sleep anymore.
My husband helped me get back downstairs which was a real challenge, my hip felt like it kept locking and my knees did not want to bend right. Back on the couch offered little relief and I was not able to fall back to sleep until around 7 a.m. Needless to say, I did not get to walk Bradley down to the bus stop Wednesday morning.
I was a little mad about that whole thing, because I was actually looking forward to making that part of my morning routine. The good news is, that by the early afternoon and another dose of ibuprofen, I was finally rid of the pain and back to moving around normally. I feel good again! Thursday morning I will be getting my child to the bus stop by walking him down there. While I'm excited about it, I'm sure my little one will be pointing to the garage, reminding me about the car and whining about it being hot.
It's just one a day, Little Man, if I can do it, you can do it!
Since I'm nearly down to 400lbs again, I thought I would give the bed a try. I miss my husband at night! I brought everything upstairs and went to sleep. Every two hours I was waking up, trying to find a new position that would allow me to be in less pain and fall asleep again. I popped some ibuprofen to get some relief from the constant pain that I was experiencing by 2 a.m. By 4 a.m. I am awake once again and I sat up, the pain was unbearable. That was it, I was near tears and I just couldn't sleep anymore.
My husband helped me get back downstairs which was a real challenge, my hip felt like it kept locking and my knees did not want to bend right. Back on the couch offered little relief and I was not able to fall back to sleep until around 7 a.m. Needless to say, I did not get to walk Bradley down to the bus stop Wednesday morning.
I was a little mad about that whole thing, because I was actually looking forward to making that part of my morning routine. The good news is, that by the early afternoon and another dose of ibuprofen, I was finally rid of the pain and back to moving around normally. I feel good again! Thursday morning I will be getting my child to the bus stop by walking him down there. While I'm excited about it, I'm sure my little one will be pointing to the garage, reminding me about the car and whining about it being hot.
It's just one a day, Little Man, if I can do it, you can do it!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
You Want Me To Do What With My Feet?
So Tuesday morning my husband had to leave at 5 a.m. for P.T. He usually goes, does his morning workout then comes home in time to get my son to the bus stop which is down the street from the house. It's within walking distance but North Carolina heat is unforgiving, even at 6:30 a.m. So, he drives the kiddo down there and they wait in the air conditioned car until the bus arrives anywhere between 6:38 - 7:00. Thanks for keeping a reliable schedule city school district!
Well, as usual, I had gotten my little monster up and dressed and we were waiting for my husband to get home and I casually looked at the clock only to notice it was 6:29. Panic mode! I had to now walk my child down to the bus stop which I had never done and did not know if I was physically capable of doing.
After convincing my child that dad was not there nor was the car, we started walking down the street to the bus stop. I honestly can't tell you how far it is. I pass four housing units at least, which tells you absolutely nothing. I was fine until about the last 50 feet or so from the bus stop, then my lower back and back of my legs were on fire. Thankfully, I made it and sat my butt on the curb and read Bradley a book until the bus arrived.
When it left, I walked home and was doing great until right about when I reached my driveway and experienced that same pain as before. Not a big deal since I was right there and could go inside and rest before starting my house cleaning. I spent most of the day contemplating doing it again tomorrow.
Now, it wasn't pleasant discovering that I could walk that far at the last moment so I could get the kiddo on the bus, but it was exciting to be able to do it. I am going to go ahead and make it a daily routine now. Every morning I will walk my child down to the bus stop. The only thing stopping me from picking him up is the temperature in the afternoon. During the summer months we frequently have daily heat warnings to stay indoors which is just crazy so I'll wait until the weather cools to add afternoon walks.
Hopefully, after a couple weeks of doing this, it will build up the muscles in my legs and lower back so that short distance wont hurt as much and it'll help burn some more calories than just house cleaning alone will do. Then maybe a walk around the block will be in my future? I'm feeling optimistic about that!
Well, as usual, I had gotten my little monster up and dressed and we were waiting for my husband to get home and I casually looked at the clock only to notice it was 6:29. Panic mode! I had to now walk my child down to the bus stop which I had never done and did not know if I was physically capable of doing.
After convincing my child that dad was not there nor was the car, we started walking down the street to the bus stop. I honestly can't tell you how far it is. I pass four housing units at least, which tells you absolutely nothing. I was fine until about the last 50 feet or so from the bus stop, then my lower back and back of my legs were on fire. Thankfully, I made it and sat my butt on the curb and read Bradley a book until the bus arrived.
When it left, I walked home and was doing great until right about when I reached my driveway and experienced that same pain as before. Not a big deal since I was right there and could go inside and rest before starting my house cleaning. I spent most of the day contemplating doing it again tomorrow.
Now, it wasn't pleasant discovering that I could walk that far at the last moment so I could get the kiddo on the bus, but it was exciting to be able to do it. I am going to go ahead and make it a daily routine now. Every morning I will walk my child down to the bus stop. The only thing stopping me from picking him up is the temperature in the afternoon. During the summer months we frequently have daily heat warnings to stay indoors which is just crazy so I'll wait until the weather cools to add afternoon walks.
Hopefully, after a couple weeks of doing this, it will build up the muscles in my legs and lower back so that short distance wont hurt as much and it'll help burn some more calories than just house cleaning alone will do. Then maybe a walk around the block will be in my future? I'm feeling optimistic about that!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
"Clean ALL the things!"
First, I have to point out that my title is blatantly stolen from a blogger that I enjoy reading, Hyperbole and a Half. The particular strip I borrowed it from makes me laugh and I use it as a pick-me-up when I'm feeling overwhelmed from the stuff. You know what the stuff is.
Life is the stuff. Recently though, the stuff hasn't been getting me down quiet as badly as it has been. Maybe it's because I'm almost at the 50lbs mark for weight loss and it's easier to move around. It could be that I feel good about myself for sticking to this or for learning about what triggers things like binge eating and for getting off my butt and doing something about my issues that led to being this big. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above.
The motivation doesn't just end at working on myself though. You should see my house! Every day since Sunday I have been working on a small area of the house, completely cleaning it from top to bottom. It's like I just moved in. It's been neglected for so long because I just 1) couldn't get motivated to move and 2) even if I had any energy to move, my weight was stopping me.
In the beginning, I would constantly question myself, when would I noticed a change in how I feel? It wasn't until I started exercising that I noticed any real change. Exercising improved my mood, gave me more energy, made my legs stronger and in return I was able to do more, such as stand for longer periods of time and walk further. Those things made me feel good, especially the standing and the walking, since I couldn't do those for more than a few steps or a few moments in the beginning.
Ok, now I'm not suddenly some fitness buff. I'm not working out for hours a day. Right now I'm replacing my exercising with some severe house cleaning and my dietitian said when I saw her on Wednesday, that was good because I was still moving around and I'm actually cleaning house a lot longer than I would be just exercising. Don't think house cleaning doesn't raise my heart rate or break a sweat. I am scrubbing floors and walls and running the vacuum and breaking a sweat. Ew.
Anyway, I feel like I might have gotten a bit off track here. I'm losing weight, I'm more motivated because I've lost weight, losing weight and weigh less. Speaking of being motivated, I'm getting antsy here and I really need to go get some vacuuming done. The house doesn't clean itself and the dog hair on the stairs is waiting. In fact, I'm pretty sure those clumps of hair have been there long enough that they may have formed into sentient life forms. I believe they're voting on a President this week. Better go nip that in the bud.
Life is the stuff. Recently though, the stuff hasn't been getting me down quiet as badly as it has been. Maybe it's because I'm almost at the 50lbs mark for weight loss and it's easier to move around. It could be that I feel good about myself for sticking to this or for learning about what triggers things like binge eating and for getting off my butt and doing something about my issues that led to being this big. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above.
The motivation doesn't just end at working on myself though. You should see my house! Every day since Sunday I have been working on a small area of the house, completely cleaning it from top to bottom. It's like I just moved in. It's been neglected for so long because I just 1) couldn't get motivated to move and 2) even if I had any energy to move, my weight was stopping me.
In the beginning, I would constantly question myself, when would I noticed a change in how I feel? It wasn't until I started exercising that I noticed any real change. Exercising improved my mood, gave me more energy, made my legs stronger and in return I was able to do more, such as stand for longer periods of time and walk further. Those things made me feel good, especially the standing and the walking, since I couldn't do those for more than a few steps or a few moments in the beginning.
Ok, now I'm not suddenly some fitness buff. I'm not working out for hours a day. Right now I'm replacing my exercising with some severe house cleaning and my dietitian said when I saw her on Wednesday, that was good because I was still moving around and I'm actually cleaning house a lot longer than I would be just exercising. Don't think house cleaning doesn't raise my heart rate or break a sweat. I am scrubbing floors and walls and running the vacuum and breaking a sweat. Ew.
Anyway, I feel like I might have gotten a bit off track here. I'm losing weight, I'm more motivated because I've lost weight, losing weight and weigh less. Speaking of being motivated, I'm getting antsy here and I really need to go get some vacuuming done. The house doesn't clean itself and the dog hair on the stairs is waiting. In fact, I'm pretty sure those clumps of hair have been there long enough that they may have formed into sentient life forms. I believe they're voting on a President this week. Better go nip that in the bud.
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